“A quaint little German town…”

Gatlinburg, TN- Nestled discreetly among the vast, untouched splendor of the Great Smoky Mountains lays one of America’s best kept (and tackiest) secrets. For those wishing to experience the glory of our nation’s most visited national park without having to forfeit access to wax museums and over-the-top Christian musicals, Gatlinburg, Tennessee is nothing short of a godsend; and for the rest of us, it is at least a source of splendid blog-fodder. We had first heard of Gatlinburg in our travel guide, which described it intriguingly as “A quaint little German town, standing at the feet of the Smokies”. Unfortunately, this description proved to be a bit off the mark. For starters, the town is not in any obvious way German. Whatever Germanic charm it may have once possessed has long since been replaced by chain restaurants and novelty t-shirt stores and…mullets (in fairness, we only actually saw seven mullets and one of them—the blue one—was most certainly a wig). Also, if Gatlinburg has any particular European flavor (it doesn’t), this flavor would be decidedly Russian: Due to a bustling slave trade (thinly disguised as a summer work program) the majority of the town’s service positions are staffed by friendly Siberian FOBs, further lending to the bizarness of the place. In all, there is much to do in (and even more to say about) Gatlinburg, Tennessee and we are definitely glad to have visited; however, its elaborate offerings amount to little more than a distraction from the region’s true attraction—the Great Smokey Mountains. Below are some pictures of the Smokies, the campsite we stayed at, and of course, Gatlinburg, the place that taste forgot…

Matt
The Top of Clingman's Dome, the highest point in TN

One of the scenic local attractions...
It's a time honored tradition to be welcomed into the Great Smoky Mountains National Park by a group of overweight children..."Hey look, that kid's got bosoms!"
(Ed. Note: How many of those kids do you think have two first names? NJL)